“I worry these automated apps and debit cards will cause me to have fewer thoughtful money conversations with my kids.”
I hear that a lot. And it drives me nuts.
(It almost makes me as crazy as: “Don’t give your kid a debit card, use cash instead.” Nonsense. See my counterarguments here and here.)
The automation fear is frustrating because the effect of a well-designed family finance app is precisely the opposite. Thoughtful automation spurs more parent-child conversation about money, not less.
And, as Ron Lieber says: “Every conversation about money is also about values.” So, that’s a good thing.
Just because the manual mechanics are eliminated for things like:
- remembering to deliver regular allowance,
- accounting for chores or odd jobs,
- calculating parent-paid interest,
- and tracking transactions,
doesn’t mean the conversation disappears too.
In fact, it’s when the mechanics are not automated that the parents eventually fail to follow through, and the system collapses. No follow-through means no system means no conversations. Automation fixes that.
The app’s automated audit trail and real time alerts proactively prompt an ongoing stream of money discussions with your child:
“I see you made 6 cents in interest for the week. Let’s talk about how the incredible power of compound interest is putting your savings to work.”
“I see you spent $3.99 at a specialty tea shop. Let’s talk about whether it’s worth paying that much. Maybe, maybe not.”
“I see a $23.50 ATM transaction. Let’s talk about how that $3.50 fee is a 17.5% tax on your $20 withdrawal, and how to avoid it next time.”
“I see 20% of your allowance is still going to paying off that loan I made you for the latest iPhone. Let’s talk about whether you’d make the same choice next time. Maybe there’s some extra work you can do to pay it off faster.”
“I see your Spotify payment was declined again. Let’s talk about how that would cost you a $35 overdraft fee on a bank debit card and the importance of keeping a cushion in your account.”
“I see your donation to the disaster relief agency went through. I’m so proud of you. Let’s talk about how you picked the place to donate.”
“I see your payment to me for your share of the family cell phone plan came through today. Painful isn’t it? Let’s talk about finding a cheaper option.”
“I got your annual clothing budget proposal notification. Let’s talk about a compromise on the line item for jeans. Oh, and you forgot to include underwear.”
“I got your money request notification just now. Let’s discuss why you’re running short of funds before I approve or deny the request.”
Those are all good, thoughtful conversations to have. Regularly. Small steps and repetition are key ingredients to building good habits.
Without automation, your only consistent money conversation with your kid might just be:
“Dad, why do you keep forgetting my allowance?”
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